Today marks three months of motherhood. I'm not even 100 days into my journey, yet I feel so changed by what I have experienced. They say a baby changes everything and as much as I swore that wouldn't be the case for me, it couldn't ring more true. My perspective on life, my dreams, my relationships -- it has all been affected in the most beautiful way. I've finally had a chance to come up for air from those chaotic first weeks. I've had a chance to reflect on what has happened to me, to us, to my little family. I've had a chance to take in the surealness that I am a mother. I've been able to see and feel how different life now is. I've changed in more ways than I can count and in more ways than I ever knew I needed to.
I want to see the world more than ever.
I feel this heavy sense of responsibility to show Brody the beauty of the world we live in. I've always had the itch to travel, but now it is so strong. With having a child, came the realization that each sleep is one less day of my short time on earth. I want to fill our days with new sights and memories. I want to experience the true beauty around me. I'm vowing to take more day trips, plan more adventures, and get out and do.
I've become patient.
I never realized how impatient I was until I became a mother. The early weeks of a crying baby and little sleep were enough to push me off the deep end. I couldn't understand that some things were going to take time to get used to. On many occasions (like being 42 weeks pregnant), I would feel frustrated with the timing of things. Those first weeks of motherhood tested my patience in ways I never knew were possible. Perhaps I'm just now realizing that time is a fleeting thing. Perhaps I'm learning that it goes by far too fast to wish away. Perhaps I'm finally learning that sometimes the most beautiful things happen slowly.
I crave friendships.
Motherhood can be incredibly lonely. It's hard to imagine that being with someone 24 hours a day 7 days a week can make you lonely, but for me, it has. I have this powerful bond of motherhood that I want to share with others. I crave to have that "village" that everyone talks about. I want the circle of friends that I can text at 2 in the morning when I'm wide awake trying to figure out what the heck I am doing because they too are doing the same thing. I wish for the companionship for Brody to grow up with friends he's know from birth. I crave friendships like I never have before.
I want to record everything.
My dad's nickname is Papa-razzi. For years, we have pokeed fun of him for photographing everything in our lives. Now, I get it. These moments and memories go by so fast that it is hard for me to even grasp what I'm going through until I look back at it. From the little day-to-day events like bath time, reading stories, and going for walks to the big milestones, like coo-ing, finding his toes, and learning to rollover--I want to remember every single little detail.
How has motherhood changed you? I would love to hear your experiences.